aduhm:

closing a 3-ring binder clasp on your finger

mrcraabs:

and so it begins

princeowl:

princeowl:

can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like sushi bars i could really use some fish right now fish right now fish right now

this post would have been a hit in 2010

bitchyhistory:

lampsarepeopletoo:

lampsarepeopletoo:

my mom walked in on my boyfriend and i naked and then 5 minutes later she slipped this note under my door

my mom responded to the situation by buying me a door knob with a lock on it

best parental reaction or best parental reaction

One night President Obama and his wife Michelle decided to do something out of routine and go for a casual dinner at a restaurant that wasn’t too luxurious. When they were seated, the owner of the restaurant asked the President’s Secret Service if he could please speak to the First Lady in private. They obliged and Michelle had a conversation with the owner. Following this conversation President Obama asked Michelle, “Why was he so interested in talking to you?” She mentioned that in her teenage years, he had been madly in love with her. President Obama then said, “So if you had married him, you would now be the owner of this lovely restaurant,” to which Michelle responded, “No. If I had married him, he would now be the President.”

pistachios-are-quite-good:

catsamazing:

My cat REALLY loves paper towels

this is not a face of love

bangcaster:

you can still be thick and have a thigh gap 

xellphy:

ALL I DID WAS LOOK UP BOLOGNA

THIS IS NOT WHAT I WANTED